Roman & Classical in Patras 2019
Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Classical Indian
Game 1 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 2 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Republican Roman
Game 3 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Classical Indian
Game 4 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 5 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Han Chinese
The third game, as the post-lunch carbohydrate blues kicked in (to be repelled by expresso's hand-served at our tables by former Fulham manager Slavisa Jokanovic, all of which were included in the cost of entry to the event) and across the table from me was a Classical Indian army.
The lists for the Assyrian Empire and Sargonid and Classical Indian from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Patras can be seen here in the L'Art de la Guerre Wiki.
Classical Indians are a decent if somewhat predictable army, with a wall of elephants and mixed bow/sword infantry units marching across the table at you trying to overwhelm the enemy with weight of numbers along a broad frontage. The secret to fighting them is to concentrate on one section of their army and go in fast and hard, before their width and weight of numbers has a chance to tell
Flipping Feta! Yet again the terrain-phobic Assyrians had secured a fairly open table, and in line with the standard operating manual for taking on massed Elephant armies had deployed in one section of the board.
Unusually the Indians had selected a list variant with massed chariotry, opening up the possibility of hot Chariot on Chariot action at some point in the coming game.
Trembling Taramasalata! The Indian army lurched forward, with the bulk of their elephants and shooters advancing into empty space as the Assyrians concentrated their already lopsided deployment still further against the Chariot wing of the Indian army.
The Chariots were tough, but with only a handful of poor quality bow armed units sat behind them as rear support and to try to hold their flanks it appeared they were advancing into a trap which the Assyrians could easily construct on the fly.
Assyrian Empire
This game the Assyrians had wheeled out their second-strong list, which uniquely included a pair of Elite Quality Heavy Infantry Swordsmen.
Whether you like olives or not, it's hard not to argue that whilst lacking in any special skills which might trouble a charging elephant, their 4-hit resilience and ability to shrug off low dice rolls did in theory make them a better anvil with which to try to blunt the elephants fearsome initial attacks than any of the loose formation infantry in the list which had featured in Games 1 & 2.
These solid Guardsmen made a beeline for the elephant Corps whilst half of the Assyrian chariots and pretty much all of their on-table cavalry sought to thwart and surround the impetuous Indian Chariots.
What's Going on Here Then?
The Assyrians have concentrated their forces on the right flank, and in an unexpected bonus the Indians have matched them with a near-unsupportable Chariot force when probably a further line of elephants and bowmen would have presented much more of a challenge.
As the Indian chariots press forward the Assyrians are patiently waiting and constructing a trap into which which the impetuous Indians may struggle to avoid falling.
Assyria's heaviest infantry are ready and waiting to receive the brunt of the Indian elephant force, holding them off as the Indian chariots and then the end of the Indian line is mugged by Assyrian horsemen.
In a development about as obvious and inevitable as the answer to the question "shall we wash these plates up, or just smash them on the floor?" at a Patras restaurant come closing time, The Indians could not resist attacking headlong with their wheeled monstrosities
The only question was whether they were doing so through sheer bravery and spirit, or whether it was the realisation that the Assyrians were completely surrounding them and poised to descend like wolves onto their exposed flanks which spurred them to action.
As the Indians split up and advanced, the Assyrians responded by charging home, clattering into the endmost Indian chariots from all sides with fast moving cavalry whilst meeting the main strike force head on with their own, near identical Chariotry.
Sizzling Spanokipitas!
The Winged Lion Guard Crew were fulfilling their role well, acting as stapled-down ninepins as the bowling ball of an Indian elephant tried its best to wreck them with a fearsome charge.
As the Guardsmen stood firm their General encouraged them from behind, all the while watching how the rest of his efficient Assyrian crew were dismantling the support troops in the Indian line.
In the right place, and with the right opponents the Indian attack could be deadly - but the speed and aggression of the Assyrians had caught them seriously off balance and they wilted like wilty type flower things in a drought and a heatwave, before being removed from play under the slashing blows of the Assyrian warriors.
The Indian chariots had also by now been wiped out to a man, and whilst large sections of the Indian army being rolled up like an Indian carpet by the aggressive Assyrian soldiery the other end of the Indian line was yet to even find any enemies willing to come within shooting range.
Outside, as the game continued, goats were attempting to fornicate in a conveniently placed olive tree. This also happens at the Halifax round of the Northern Doubles or so I'm told - however in Halifax allegedly some of the more senior players have been known to attempt to join in.
Indian Military Fashions
Holy Halloumi! With the Indian Chariots removed from play, the supporting infantry who had lined up behind them carrying bows and no real appetite for combat suddenly found themselves on the front line of the Assyrian pursuit.
Slammed into by Assyrian Heavy Chariots, the poor Indian pedestrians stood no chance at all and soon were reeling under the weight and ferocity of attacks being inflicted on them.
What's Going on Here Then?
The Assyrians have crushed the Indian chariots after tempting them into a series of disparate and piecemeal attacks and are now taking huge lumps out of the left flank of the Indian central command.
Bowmen who were supporting the Indian chariots also find themselves in the firing line as the Assyrians look for easy points to tip the Indian army towards defeat.
The losses on the Indian side were staggering, and very soon the entire army ground to a halt and collapsed. The Assyrians had executed a textbook counter to the massed Elephant and shooter combination, helped it must be said by the impetuosity of the Indian Chariot force, and had recorded a third consecutive out-of-the-box victory for the Assyrian Empire.
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Assyrian Empire and Sargonid Commander
I Am Victory! I Am Ultimate Winningest Master Of War! The World Is Mine To Command! Can we go for dinner now, or do I have time for a quick snooze to sleep off my lunch before we have to head out again?
This battle, and the deplyment of my Elite Heavy Infantry as a foil against the somewhat blunt sabre of the opposition was a textbook approach to the art of war which I myself have developed and studied for generations in the halls of Assyria's battle academies. Against a broad and slow moving force the secret is always to concentrate on one part of their line and bring them to battle swiftly and violently. Fortunately my army has been designed to be so small that it pretty much has to adopt this tactic in every game whatever opponent it is facing, but hey, in this little match up I did what I normally do but even more enthusiastically and with even more violence.
Having an opponent who brought chariots which proved almost impossible to support in combat, and who were even more eager than I normally am to get to the fighting part of the game was a bit of an added bonus, but as a roll-up strategy I doubt you will see a better executed one outside of a carpet shop in Istanbul or a Greek smoking in a doorway on a windy day.
I Am The Bringer of Death to Our Enemies! I Am The Conquerer of Worlds! The Empire I Build Through The Strength of Arms of Our Warriors Will Last Forever. And I am betting a pound to a penny that there will be some lovely roasted lamb heading my way later on this evening. Yummy yummy!
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
A straightforward battle which did not do much to tax even a brain as feeble as yours - but even so, you did manage to suffer a multitude of casualties in the process
This was a game which was inevitably going to end early, so why not take advantage of that certainty and do a proper swing round and rollup of the enemy army rather than the half-hearted version you ended up delivering?
Honestly, I think you cared more about generating a hero narrative for your Elite Guardsmen in giving them a chance to stand up against enemy elephants rather than looking to see how few losses you could take in recording a victory.
Your men's lives are not forefeit to your ego in this life or the next - let's see how many of them are re-boxed needlessly in the next game.
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition
You may also like....
Game 1 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 2 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Republican Roman
Game 3 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Classical Indian
Game 4 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 5 Assyrian Empire and Sargonid vs Han Chinese
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