Game 2 of the Southern League, 1635 - The French entry into the TYW (but in Milton Keynes, and in 2013)
Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW German
Game 1 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW Spanish
Game 2 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW Spanish
Game 3 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW German
The second game and yet another Spanish army, and yet another table cluttered with terrain. Pocaluj mnie w dupe!
The lists for the Later Polish & Lithuanian and TYW German from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Milton Keynes can be seen here in the FoGR Wiki.
In a competition where terrain is pre-set, taking a mounted army was always going to be a huge gamble, and it was not paying off in this game as steep hills, impassable lakes and areas of uneven ground closed the playing surface down to a point at which there was clearly going to be nowhere for the Poles to operate. The Spanish army was a much more foote-heavy composition than the last game as well, and with 4 gunnes they could sit between terrain and batter the Poles from a distance. I remained committed to the flank march, again on the right and backed up by a massive cavalry attack down that flank - in this game it seemed like possibly the only viable idea for the Poles if they wished to force an already unlikely victory.
The match started with a huge Polish charge, led by the Hussars and screened by Dragoons - the Spanish were still shuffling the pack but almost every card was a Superior Pike and Shotte unit, so they enjoyed a pretty fair hand, mostly full of aces, aces and more aces
The Spanish artillery was ranging in with deadly effect - Carbine armed Pancerni lost bases, and even the Hussars morale wobbled as the cannonballs flew in from all angles! Spierdalaj ty glupia pizda!
With one Pancerni unit tasked with taking the artillery fire (what a happy bunch of bunnies they were as a result too!) the rest of the Polish attack contracted into a deep column (sort of, well, a pole, if you like) and continued to charge like mindless idiots over the hill towards what appeared to be the weakest part of the Spanish army - if the flank march could arrive now it would be very interesting…
Hussar Equipment - Part II
The near-suicidal Pancerni were now at whites of the eyeballs range with most of the Spanish army, although a surfeit of late nights and excessive unfiltered cigarette consumption did in fact make both sets of troops somewhat jaundiced in the eyeball stakes, and were surviving as the shocked Spanish could not believe that such an enticing target could run straight at them. The blocking tactics had allowed the Hussars to push forward on the far right, and they were teeing themselves up for a death or glory charge against the only Average unit of Pike and Shotte in the Spanish front line. The stage was set for a Hussar Star performance - Ssij suko! !
The Spanish pushed tin-plated Cuirassiers into the front line to support their infantry as the Hussar's pennants fluttered at the top of the hill. A hush started to descend across the battlefield as the drama focused down into one small area of the park.. this was yet another chance for the Hussars to be potentially brilliant, but almost certainly dissapointing, and they intended to grasp the stick of potential with both Polish hands
The Spaniards however did not share the confidence of the Hussars that this would be a fair fight.. especially now that the flank march could be heard in the near distance. They pushed forward the infantry unit on its own and moved the Cuirassiers off to face the well telegraphed flank march
The Hussars and Pancerni put in a co-ordinated charge against the weakest point of the Spanish line - thundering down the hill two units of high quality horsemen slammed into the Iberian pedestrians in the middle of their over-long lunch break. Small plates of well prepared food and carefully sliced ham scattered everywhere as the Spaniards remembered their day jobs and picked up their pikes and muskets....
..and took a right pasting, failing to disrupt the enemy infantry and losing bases from the Pancerni, who were forced to break off from combat….
..shortly to be followed by the Hussars, who had also failed to make their Superiority count against the better POAs of the enemy infantry. Time to try again…?
Co kurwa, do kurwy nedzy !! The heroic Hussars, led by a general this time smashed home against the resolute Iberian infantry. A DISR result for the infantry here would change the complexion of the whole game, givving the Hussars a much better chance in melee, and threatening the whole back line of the Spaniards if the Hussars could break through..
Total War Mod of Hussars Charging
But the Spaniards continued to be resolute in their defence and refused to waver as the Hussars hacked at them ineffectually with their swords at close quarters.
By now the Spanish had amassed a huge force to deal with the still not-here flank march and the sustained Superior shooting was allowing the rest of their line to keep pushing forwards and closing down the increasingly brittle Polish mounted units. The Hussars continued their pattern of charging home and then breaking off, on the basis that the more rounds of combat they could fight the better - they only needed to win one round and DISR the enemy to change the whole game
Everywhere the Spaniards were able to move forward and pile the pressure on the embattled Poles, and in the only place where there a victory would matter, the Hussars were now down to their last 2 bases. This was looking more than grim
Polish Comedy
Kozojeb! As the Spaniards continued their ruthlessly efficient and deliberate attack, the Polish army started to crumble. The Hussars evaporated at the end of a long struggle, and the Spaniards hacked down the Polish general too to add insult to injury - as behind them Pancerni units started to break and flee as well.
With little left to fight for other than the prospect of an early finish to the game, the Poles started to commit themselves to unlikely combats - here some Average Pistol/Pistol Horse have a punt against another one of the innumerable Spanish foote units, to little good effect.
The Spaniards combined gunnery and musketry to deadly effect, and as the Polish foote came into range of the advancing infantry they too started to remove bases and lose cohesion with alarming regularity.
Polish Plumbers
The game was now turning into a shambolic rout, as here and 8-strong unit of Polish Haiduks are blown away by a combination of deadly gunnery and infantry fire
On the irrelevant flank more Pancerni turn and suffer cohesion drops - with only 2 generals on table the Poles simply do not have enough spare command capacity to try and shore up their faltering army
The Poles push forward - here some actually Russian infantry from Navwar get the worse of a shooting exchange
The Pancerni break and rout… rozpierdol!
And, just in time to see the rest of their army crumble to defeat, the Polish flank march finally arrives - late, and irrelevant. Mamy przejebane.
The Poles German-style infantry are the last to fall to FRAGGED, taking with them the army as well. The Poles suffer a massive defeat, and are lucky to get away wiith zero points
The Result is a humbling defeat.
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Later Polish & Lithuanian Commander
I hang my head in shame at this terrible stain on our nation's roll of honour. The possibility of such a game was always present at the front of my mind when the plans for this army were drawn up, but to see us be so utterly undone by such a simple plan and competent army brings pain to my heart which even over-proof vodka cannot ease.
I must tell you that the supply of words on the world market is plentiful, but the demand is falling as no-one in my democratically elected cabinet wishes to even attempt to justify this weak and meek-hearted surrender.
I am glad we can consign this one to the bilge-tanks of history, and then weld them firmly shut and move on hopefully to a brighter future without the Iron Curtain of Hegemony casting its stain across Europe. And, given the Spanish will probably now have to play Alasdair in the last game, there is a fairly good chance of that to be honest.
Let the veil of silence fall presently over what happened afterwards. Silence, too, can speak out.
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
You Sire are right to claim dishonour in this shameful defeat, and I fear that with an attitude of impending defeat pervading your plans in the way that they did on this game, you peevish chastity is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country against such defeatism.
The terrain was not of your choosing, but this was always a possibility when you chose the army, and here ye dankish half-faced barnacle, you did in theory have a plan, which you sseminally failed to execute, of lining up the superior carbine armed Pancerni against enemy foote and attempting to shoote them down - but where did gthis plan go? No-where, it did not even make it out of the trashcan where it must have gestated, and avast, you are then undone in a futile attempt at creating combats at insuperable odds in a vain seeking of unliklely glory!
Thou cans't not be but a grizzled dread-bolted nut-hook to think that your Hussars could charge down enemy foote, all whilst committing 3 units to their deaths to protect the flanks of such an unwise and unhopeful venture as well!
Thou are nothing but a fobbing fly-bitten apple-john, and this defeat was - even with the terrain - one you had committed to in your mind even before the game had started. The end result was that you planned for defeat, played for defeat and then achieved defeat - let's see if the same can be achieved with the word Success instead in the next game?
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition
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Game 1 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW Spanish
Game 2 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW Spanish
Game 3 Later Polish & Lithuanian vs TYW German
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