The Dark Ages in London 2013
Vikings vs Irish
Game 4 Vikings vs Anglo-Saxons
Game 2 out of 4, and this scenario was one in which one side has to escort some baggage across the table, through a few gaps in a forest and off the other edge… and the other side has to stop them!
My opponent was the Irish - rather difficult to forecast what they were an army for which I didn't have the army list or battle board, but hey, that's what makes life interesting isn't it?
It turns out that the Irish are good at having lots of activations, have some mini-warlords who get their own dice, do lots of shooting from woods (even when they don't have any figures in them!), and generally like skulking about a lot. So the Vikings would be trying to nail dark age jelly to a wall really..
Imagining that I'd basically need to throw bodies at gaps in the woods, I'd gone for more warriors and less Hearthguards this time, so slowly losing a war of attrition would be good enough. I had also avoided the Beserkers, as they were more likely to die in combat due to their lower quality armour.
My army was:
The scenario had a degree of bidding to see who got to escort and who got to block, with who bids the least number of units gets to escort the baggage … with that many units. However as I really had no idea what I was doing, I just bid the maximum number of units (6) on the basis that I would need as many bodies as possible, and that defending and killing enemies was going to be easier than moving baggage around.
The Irish had loads of these half-warlords (Champions?) who were single figures acting alone but earn their own Saga dice. The limit is still 6 Saga dice, but with 1 dice per unit + 2 for the Warlord they were far less likely to end up with less than 6 dice - I only had 4 dice-earning units so once one was gone I would be down to 5 dice or less.
The first Irish attack was on the left side of my army, where 10 warriors waited to take them on as they cautiously approached the gap in the woods. My men were hanging back from the terrain, as the Irish could shoot out of it with a few dice by using a Saga ability.
Their bowmen could also shoot - which they did successfully in the middle, as my Warriors unwisely got a little too close to the enemy and took a casualty from long range shooting.
What's happening here then?
Unsure of how the Irish will play out, my men are hanging back and waiting for the enemy to show their hand in terms of game tactics, and also to start to commit their wagon trains to one of the three gaps in the terrain. The Irish attacks seem most likley to come on either flank as their centre is relatively weakly held by peasant archers
The hail of arrows enraged the Vikings, who decided that blocking the gap in the terrain was best done with the benefit of a barricade of enemy dead to hide behind - A magical light fell across the table, as if the game was now illuminated by the spectral glow of Thor's herring-sucking helmet! The Vikings charged forward and mightily smote the handful of rather shocked Irish levy, who clearly were not expecting to be attacked so soon in the game.
The Irish fell back, and the Vikings were left fully in control of one of the gaps in the terrain - the baggage carts looked on nervously as Vikings rampaged nearby..
Viking Words
My next battle board was teed up for a strike against the Irish' best troops - Hearthguards - with my own Hearthguards - the plan was to wipe the Irish Hearthguard out early on with a bit of Valhallah and neutralise the Irish as an attacking force, which my more numerous warriors could then mop up.
The attack was brutal on both sides, with all 4 of my Hearthguard wiped out in exchange for a disappointing 5 of the Irish. However the three survivors (and a Champion) were now not really looking forward to escorting the baggage wagon past the rather more confident Viking Warriors who now lay in wait for them beyond the trees
What's happening here then?
The central pass has now been blocked by the Vikings, and the one on the right will require some serious combat by the Irish if they are to clear the Vikings from it too. With two of their carts committed to this side of the table, their hopes of outright victory are receding rapidly - but as a result of the forces the Vikings have committed on the right, they may be left short on the left where the third cart awaits.
They were being drawn to their doom as if entranced by the fires of Styrbjorn the Unsteady's monstrous nipple clamps! The Irish then unleashed a pack of war dogs, who raced through the woods (using another special ability) on the left hand side, and ploughed into my unsuspecting and rather defenceless levy before they had a chance to unleash a storm of arrows back at the advancing canine martial artists. Things were looking rough, or should we say, woof, for the Viking levy..
Back to the right hand side, and the Viking Warriors charged home, wiping out almost to a man the Irish fighters trying to oppose them - this left 2 of the baggage carts exposed, with only a Champion and a real Warlord standing between the Vikings and the booty.
What's happening here then?
The game has continued to play out as expected - the Irish are now down to relying on luck if they are to clear the passes to the right, but on the left they may get a chance to sneak the baggage through due to the thinness of the Viking line
However a Warlord and a Champion still represent a potent fighting force, especially against an opponent who has used all of their Saga abilities in their own turn to mount an attack. The 2 Heroes threw back the Viking Warriors in some disarray…
Viking Words
Men were falling and being taken to Valhallah accompanied by the heavenly chimes of Gorm the Hydrophobic's deaf-mute father's right foot! The War Dogs were milling around like animals, as the third baggage cart made something of a break for it - trying to sneak past the Viking Warriors, who had rushed across from defending the middle gap in the forest to try to intercept it.. but they were not quick enough, and the cart made a break for freedom across the table and off the other side.
But elsewhere the rest of the Vikings were forming a solid line of defence, and with no decent troops left to carve a hole in the Viking line, the cowardly Irish decided that the best bet was to pull back their remaining two wagons out of range of the Vikings, and settle for a dishonourable draw.
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Vikings Commander
IKEA furniture is in theory designed to be easy to take apart, moved to a new place, and reassembled, and that also was the guiding principle with which I built this Viking army to take on the many challenges we expected and indeed knew we would face. However, when faced with the surreal Irishmen, with the ability to seemingly appear out of any one of the draws in a whole bank of fitted kitchen unit, the 9 lives of reassembled furniture started to crumble as if a nordic termite had gotten in amongst the compressed chipboard beneath a thin skin of laminate and chewed it to bits.
My men were forced to throw their bodies in the way of the enemy, and their dogs (which are not allowed in many IKEA stores - they tend to eat the meatballs..) and this meant that whilst we could just about manage to keep the enemy at bay, the chances of having anyone left to actually attack the wagons soon cracked into a million pieces, as if a screw had been driven into them a half-turn too far.
Still, a draw is a better result than a loss, although both are better than being trapped in the endless maze that is an IKEA store layout - something so fiendish that it has been designed expressly to force you to, almost by brownian motion, to buy more stuff constantly, often simply in order to survive the long winter of being trapped in an IKEA.
I have still not lost. So, lets try and win from here.
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
You pale-livered drinker of sheep's piss, how can you again try and claim goodness out of a game in which you never once threatened to trouble the craftsman who builds the winners podium with the threat of your oppressive bulk weighing heavy upon his creation?
Flat packed or not, this was yet again a result where you only read half of the objectives. Yes, you kept the bowlegged chicken-worriers from the bog country mostly - but not entirely - away from your own base, and making them retreat the baggage is a victory of a moral nature. But this is a deeplpy immoral world, and as a Viking you should surely be revelling in immorality rather than pleading for acceptance or a ham-fisted draw?
To kill the enemy baggage you need to strike hard at them, with tough troops and an aggressive nature. Throwing bodies in the way and dying slowly is not much of a strategy for a Viking Chieftain, and nothing of a strategy if that is not what is needed to do to win.
You are frittering away brave men on hopeless pointless draws, and up in Valhallah there will be many cursing you for wasting their lives to achieve so little. Lets hope it improves in the next game...
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Game 4 Vikings vs Anglo-Saxons
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