Game 2
Vs France 2 – Scots Common
My nightmare matchup – lots of Pk (I) across the entire table! I was thinking my 4 Bd (F) would be very busy…
Pk(I) |
36 |
BdO Ally |
1 |
PkI |
16 |
Wbf |
15 |
PsO |
6 |
BdO |
4 |
PsO |
4 |
BdF Ally |
1 |
Gen Pk |
1 |
BwO |
10 |
HdF |
5 |
16 |
|
|
40 |
PsO |
2 |
KnF |
5 |
||
HdF |
5 |
KnF CinC |
1 |
||||
18.5 |
BwO |
2 |
|||||
|
28.5 |
Again with little significant terrain other than a patch of RGo in Jeromes forward right flank sector and a wood on my right flank edge it was a fairly open – my plan to break up the line of pikes had fallen at the first hurdle.
The Scots deployed (from my right) firstly the large pike command spread out 3 deep (still pretty wide) and with its Psiloi extending its flank. Next came the Allied Iselmen, racing their bowmen & blades into (and some of them just beyond) the RGo. Then another blob of pikes teed itself up to rush down the flank, with the knights acting as a mobile reserve. The Galwegians were fairly clearly on a flank march on my left. I deployed psiloi from two commands against the main pike command, and set up some auxilia t harass the Ps screening the Scots left.
However it wasn’t all negative - the opportunity of hitting blades and bow had tempted me into attacking down my left and some elephants and auxilia raced forwards to charge them. Meanwhile the general and another elephant from the central command started to lumber across to meet the expected flank march, and on my right auxilia started to nibble at Ps.
As the Islemen outpaced the Pk (I) wall, I managed to score some quick wins with the elephant charge creating a problematic hole in the Scots line into which the Isleman general was temporarily forced to stuff himself. Fortunately his bowmen were faring somewhat better and were recoiling the elephants at every opportunity, and breaking up my line. Meanwhile on my right, auxilia started to digest psiloi and hungrily eyed the flanks of the Pk (I).
Then the flank march announced its arrival with a skirl of the pikes, a fleeing elephant and a rash of poor pips from the command facing it. My CinC was now trying simultaneously to maneuver his command so it avoid being hit by the pike on the flank, extract auxilia (O) from a flank march and drive elephants and Ax (S) into bowmen. Erm, I think not! Meanwhile on my right, auxilia started to seductively lick their lips as Pk (I) danced unconvincingly, but nervously as blades and elephants assaulted the other end of their line.
However this inability to meaningfully extract myself from this predicament had created something of a log-jam for the Scots, who were attempting to achieve a controlled insertion of 16 unruly Galwegians, 5 impetuous Kn (F) and countless unenthusiastic Pk (I) into an area of the board approximately the size of my by-now dead fleeing elephant. Meanwhile on my right, auxilia started to build a small fire as some of their colleagues flicked through cookery books looking for recipes for slow roasting of Pk(I) using 3m spits.
Rather unsurprisingly the Galwegians went impetuous, just as the general and elephant from my central command arrived. Very quickly the single-element Galwegians were squished, and retreating in chaos – exposing the CinC to a significant number of Pk (I) (oops!) who advanced on, spurred by their generals mad rush round the back of the fleeing warband with the rest of the mounted nobility an don towards my baggage. Meanwhile on my right, the sounds of battle were temporarily drowned out as my auxilia belched loudly after too-quickly consuming some rather over-cooked Pk (I).
My CinC’s commands ability to survive being attacked by 3 commands of Scots had by now declined from its initial "aggressive taking of the initiative will see us through" via "valiant resistance" down into "I want my mummy - wwwwwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhhhh!". They broke and soon were fleeing in disarray towards the table edge – and back towards the Scots nobility! Meanwhile on my right my auxilia shouted at the waiter to bring up the dessert tray, and pronto as they realized that their time in this particular restaurant was quickly running out, and soon the waiter would realize that their credit cards limits were badly exceeded and they would be unable to pay.
The Scots nobility launched itself at the baggage – My Auxilia launched themselves at the veritable Mixed Chocolate Gateaux and Strawberry Cheesecake with Merangue pieces topped with Chantilly Cream and Glace Cherries that were the flanks of the Scots Pk (I).
Bang!
Crash!
Burp!
Both armies expired. 5-5 !!! Wowarama!!!!
Paolonius Pugilistiantanioni comments on this game live and direct from Bellissimo Italia:
"In-cred-I-bil-e, IN-CRED-I-BIL-IE!!!!
You attack SOOO SLOOOOWLY!!!! You are SOOOOO Defensivissimo!!!! This would Neeeever happen in ITALIA! Mamma Mia Pasta Vino Rossi Campione Nationale!!! How, How Can This Be So? Do you Not See how you can WIN in only TWO TURNS – here, let me show you how. Is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY, GREAT OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE HERE, do this and do this and do this and do this and you will win easily – is a great matchup for you, no???? INCREDIBILIE, INCREDIBILIE! Now, I must go to talk to Mister Mike Bennet so I can make sure the scoresheets are right so ITALIA UNO will beat ITALIA DUO before We Go Home Early To Bed and not stay up drinking with the rest of you CRAZEEEE people. This is NOT real pasta !!!INCREDIBILE!!!!!
CIAO!"