The Sicilians - The Final Cut
Sunday Afternoon, and the Sicilians face the first overseas player of the campaign - Monty "Don't Call me List Moderator" Walls, all the way from Oklahoma, USA;.....
The Don's boys were facing something from Book 1 called Lydian, with Kn F and (surprisingly) the option to upgrade all the crap spearmen into Sp (O). (funny how that always happens with some of these lists, eh?).
At Last - something we had been designed to fight ! The "Italian Tin Opener With Added German Efficiency List" was selected, giving me a hefty panzer division of spear-crunchers, plus hopefully enough knights to overwhelm the Lydian left.
After his previous debacle, The Don wisely left things to his two trusty loootenants, and hid, screened by a few LH, behind a wood over on our right - stuffing the wood with Ax (S) to help keep it nice and legal.....
Monty's spearmen rushed forwards like a piece of mobile terrain on the sort of small casters that you often see in DIY shops but are never sure who buys them, as most pieces of furniture you might buy already have them. well, now you know - its Greeks ! The German panzer brigade held back and set out their beach towels for a long wait - as they saw an opportunity to make life easier, that being "feed in a few of our LH to help the others, and then wait until Pacino and his boys have exposed a few flanks so we can go in with an overlap".
Monty's Spearmen
But Pacino had clearly only skimmed part of the way through the script - he had flicked through to the end, seen that he was Kn (O), and his opponent was Kn (F) and so he would triumph, and had decided to improvise the rest of his lines....
....but the Director, seeing excitement developing, decided to let the actors go with the flow, and maybe, just maybe, change the outcome.
Pacino rushed forwards, and got his lines all confused - the LH line was at one angle, the Knights were at another - it was a right mess!
Luckily, Pacino managed a great piece of improvisation - the LH turned round, formed into columns, and escaped from the jaws of combat. Then it was a game of luck. The knights rocked back and forth - overlaps, no overlaps, recoils, pursuits - mutual destruction beckoned at all times, with even Pacino and the Greek in a compromising Buttocks of Death clinch at one point. But, throughout it all, he - and they - survived.
Here They Go.....
But, whilst this drama was going on, the Germans were making Vorsprung Durch Maneuver - as the Lydian terrain broke apart like melting icebergs, the Kn (I) wedges moved menacingly into position.... and the Sicilian LH circled like vultures in the wings....
Crunch!
The Germans go in - they bounce - they go in again -
They go through !
....and through the other side
Game Over - 10-0 to the Sicilians !
What went Wrong This Weekend?
Post Match Analysis - from our expert commentator: Don Kostello
Neither Pacino, DeNiro, or especially Brando would ever go into a battle "hoping" that things would go correctly. I suspect that Caan (Sonny) was in command at times, rashly hurrying into battle without proper planning, and this was part of your problem. Sonny was just too hotheaded. He probably also had Fredo as a sub, which was a HUGE mistake - never put Fredo in charge of anything. Plus, in your list, you used a German sub. None of those guys would stoop that low. You had an imposter on your hands who couldn't handle his role properly when the going got tough, which was another one of your problems."
